So, after passing the first swallowing test, I was allowed simple, soft foods to eat. The nurses no longer gave me foods via the feeding tube. They simply flushed sterial water down, and then sucked in back up in a tube to keep it from closing on the inside.
Boy was I extatic to be able to eat again! And coffee! I got coffee in the mornings! Oh man, how I loved coffee (still do to this day)! They served thickened juices, grits (whatever that consisted of) and started me on protein shakes to help me gain weight. I drank 3 of those a day. I didnt realize what they were at first, but man did they taste good!! I think anything I could get down my throat tasted good at that point! Main point was, I COULD SWALLOW AGAIN!
Physical therapy progressed, to help better my led coordination. My right leg tended to drag, because of the damage done to my brain. So, we focused on walking with the walker and doing more exercises with a focus on the right side.
I remember one morning when I got up to get ready for the day, a male OT came in to do ADLs with me (activites of daily living). He wanted to see and note how I did with taking care of myself in the mornings, WHICH INCLUDED SHOWERING!!!! I can't explain how abruptedly I told him to wait behind to shower curtain, that I refused for him to see me undressed. (Here's where my brain started working) Why in God's name did whatever OTR assign A MALE to work with me on my ADLs!!
So I showered, ALONE. They provided a shower chair for me, so (obviously) I wouldnt fall (sure as heck didnt want that). They even provided a razor, for me to shave! Ha ha! To shave! Swear my hairs were growing forests! And for the record, on another blog, I intend to write strictly on the goof ups I did while in and out of the hospital! Oh my God! How funny they are, even to this day!
Sometime, around the first week of July, I got a home pass, meaning that I could go home for the day, to see how I managed there. I was so extremely excited! I can't remember the last time I was so excited to go home, even for only a day!!! And, this is when I started to notice things, for the first time. I started to question, in my mind, what really happened that dreadful night.
My mom was late in picking me up, which drove me crazy! She had my little boy with her, who apparently was getting car sick the entire way up there. Thats what took them so long. Robert could barely hold in his excitement of me getting to visit! Mom checked me out at the nurses' station, and I happily said my goodbyes, with goofy promises to be back that evening.
When I got home, I strolled around in my wheelchair. I figured out how to get around there, into the bathroom, the living room, and so forth. Being the OT mom was, she had all of the rooms made just for a person in a wheelchair. Who knew I'd actually be the first person to try out her design?
I went outside with the cordless phone. Alone, I dialed HIS phone number. At first, our conversation was wonderful. I hadn't heard his voice in such a long time. We talked about how I was home for a visit, how my therapy was going there, my eating test, so on. In the back of my mind, something was wrong. I couldnt put my finger on it at that point, but I just had a sick feeling about things.
When we talked about his recovery, things started to bother me even more. Alone in my thoughts, I started slowly to remember some of the abuse he dished out. I started to remember the break in my hand, the broken nose. And, I vaguely remembered, did he break my cheekbone?
At some point in the conversation, my mom came outside. She figured out who I was talking with, and a big look of concern came across her face. I learned throughout the years, my mom's facial expressions usually told us what was on her mind. The look she continued to give me furthered my curiousity of what really happened.
Mom told me to get off of the phone. With a look of why, she said again to just get off the phone. I shrugged, and then complied. With a quick I love you, I hung up.
"Why are you being so upset with me talking to him?" I asked with an attitude. "I don't understand why you're so mad at him."
"Elicia," she said. "Just don't go there."
With the attitude I still had, I just said whatever.
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